Self Destructive Boyfriend

2021.10.26 17:51 MoA285 Self Destructive Boyfriend

My name is Moa. I hope you can understand why I wrote it that way. .. and I apologize for any grammatical errors. I'm still learning English.

Usually my way of comparing my thoughts is by writing them out in a text file, making a mind map, or discussing them with someone. I don't feel like I need help solving my problems and writing about them on the internet seems .. weird to me. . but I discovered this group and thought I'd try to write a little confessional because I'm likely to find like-minded individuals here.

My boyfriend and I recently took a "break" for three months. The reason was that we have the same view of the world, dare I say we even see the world through the same eyes, but the problem was that he didn't like or trust himself. I knew that from the beginning and I know that's not the best premise to start a relationship. We've always been open with each other about the fact that there's this barrier that prevents our relationship from being deeper and it's even possible that it could have been the way we are. (.. but how could anyone like someone else if they don't like themselves..) With all of that went his self-destructive behavior. He would change his opinions as it suited him, which I didn't mind at first because it gave the relationship a certain dynamic, but as time went on, unnecessary arguments began to be artificially constructed.

Everything was always fine otherwise, unless he created some unnecessary conflict. You know, I think in any relationship, both parties are always responsible for the problems. One could make concessions, people could compromise, and even though some of these "parts" of the relationship are just part of the "courtship ritual" for me I didn't mind doing it because I got along with him otherwise and we didn't have other problems, but here it got to the point where it started creating problems just to.. (as he said).. make him feel like he won. We even tried to work out some compromises, ways of doing things so that it made sense, but it never worked. I even suggested that we both do what we wanted and then he would call me when he wanted to do something.

He knew it was wrong when even with what he suggested he had trouble sticking to it. He even started seeing a psychologist. (We took a break at that point. - it's been two months at this point) As you probably know, it's hard to find someone you can trust and still have a similar vibe with, but these issues he was having were going to take some time to work through. The psychologist told him after a few minutes, so I guess you want someone who accepts you for who you are. He replied that he did, but how can he ask someone to do that when he doesn't even like himself the way he is. I always told him I was fine with whatever the outcome was with him. Plus, the psychologist was advising him things that I was trying to tell him in stories from my life (.. the so called "hard way").. and I'm not entirely sure it helped.

My point is, I don't know what to do now. I used to dislike and distrust myself too, so I understand what he's going through. The person behind the problem is the person I've always been looking for. I believe he'll get over it, but it won't be right away. I don't mind waiting, and even if he doesn't get over it I won't worry too much about it because at that point he wouldn't be the person for me, but in three months few people get over this and knowing him I know he will have doubts that cloud his judgement. I didn't want to influence him in any way at that time, so I told him to call me when he made up his mind. (Yeah, I know I set a trap for myself now.)

Uniques are hard to find and confronting your problems in your head is difficult. My "help" never had an effect and even though the psychologist told him the same thing I was trying to convey, I don't believe it helped, in fact quite the opposite.

I know that...
... whatever part of himself he decides makes sense to him, I'll be able to live with that part.
... not many people can do that in three months, and three months is usually a time when you've distanced yourself so much from others that there's no connection left. (.. and yes I know, if it makes sense, the connection will stay there.)

It's just very hard to admit that you would lose the person you get along with so well because he's troubled by psychological issues you've been through yourself and you have an idea of what might be going through the other person's head.

I don't really know what I'm asking you to do or why I'm writing this.

Thanks for reading

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2021.10.26 17:51 HumongousChungus2 Saw this Fendt 1042 with a 6m horsch cultivator seeding combination while i was mulching

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2021.10.26 17:51 CyberSecurityGuy1 OZSC A Hidden Gem

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2021.10.26 17:51 toss195559 Thick and yummy

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2021.10.26 17:51 Roq86 Just guys trying to get an orange stuck on a lamp

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2021.10.26 17:51 Zaelesh We've heard of tough love, but what is an example of soft hate?

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2021.10.26 17:51 Primextime92 Issues with kicking members on group Ironman?

We kicked one of our members just over 7 days ago and he’s still in the group, when heading to the group Ironman island there’s an option to revoke his kick status but no information on much longer or if the process is working. Has anyone had any luck with kicking their members? Or is it just a waiting game at this point?
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2021.10.26 17:51 Sendarrion I think niche support operators like Pallas and Andreana are a good idea but…

Their buffs should be way stronger. For example, think of a support unit that cut the DP cost of all Ursus operators in half, or one that converts all damage from Lupo operators to Arts damage for a short time.
I think this is a good idea because it encourages us to put together different team comps instead of just adding in the same top-class generalist operators (Silver Ash, Saria, Surtr). It could be balanced by the fact that most races/factions by themselves lack some type of core mechanic (Ursus doesn’t have snipers and Lupos don’t have healers). This way we would be encouraged to clear maps with entirely unique team comps and even level up lesser used units because they fit within a certain race or faction.
I realize that Hypergryph already tries to encourage unique team comps through Contigency Contract and Integrated Strategies and maybe it’s too late in the game to start adding such powerful support without making some kind of overpowerful exploit. I just really love all the different races and factions in this game and would love to see them expressed more in the actual gameplay.
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2021.10.26 17:51 jere3xu What hobby says “She probably doesn’t have a boyfriend”?

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2021.10.26 17:51 yoegoeslavoe How to do I let go

I (17m) have had a crush on this girl from my school for quite some time. I've always known that it wouldn't lead to a relationship but I've never been able to accept it. The last few days I've been feeling more and more accepting of it but I'm not quite there yet, does anyone have any advice on accepting someone doesn't like you back?
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2021.10.26 17:51 Moist_Eagle_9451 Hanwe & wc-rol 🧻❤️

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2021.10.26 17:51 fixtheblue [Off Topic] What bookish question do you want to ask those in r/bookclub

Time for a quick Off Topic book chat and today we have a super open discussion. We are asking what you want to ask the members, mods and read runners at bookclub. Maybe it is recommendations, reading habits, experiences with bookclubs, personal book collections, book ratings, keeping track of read, reading habits or anything related to books, the love of books and bookclub. Looking forward to all your questions. See you in the comments bookworms 📚
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2021.10.26 17:51 Desperate-Rooster340 Barely a month in and already got two! :)

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2021.10.26 17:51 daveandmairi The skeleton was too thin at the top so collapsed after a day or so. Still happy with it.

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2021.10.26 17:51 _altaa_ Does anybody know anything about this Apple classic. Validity, age, etc…

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2021.10.26 17:51 lardodavinci my brother’s girlfriend shared this. not as bad as some, but still pretty cringe. 😬

my brother’s girlfriend shared this. not as bad as some, but still pretty cringe. 😬 submitted by lardodavinci to notliketheothergirls [link] [comments]

2021.10.26 17:51 aimless_aimer So the "I'm Normal" episode of Spongebob was good, right? AKA What post S3 episodes of Spongebob do you consider just as good as peak Spongebob?

In my mind, that episode always sat right in the ranks with prime Spongebob. So much so that I was surprised to figure out that it was even season 4, but season SIX.
Any episodes that stand out to you as being basically peak Spongebob but that came during the period when Spongebob "went downhill"?
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2021.10.26 17:51 meghrathod Bluetooth Issues with Monterey even after using BlueTool Fixup kext

I have Acer Nitro 5 Spin which has an unsupported Qualcomm wifi card which I understand can't be used for Wifi, however on Big Sur, Bluetooth used to work perfectly even on the unsupported card. I have read the article given about the mess that has been created in Monterey by Apple and many people are experiencing issues even with the working cards. If anyone knows how to sort this out, it would be of great help.
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2021.10.26 17:51 LionsBSanders20 Question on Analyzing Biodiversity and Vegan pkg in R

I'm a data scientist/biostatistician by trade and I've been asked to do some analysis on data I've never worked with before. Full disclosure: both me and the client understand that I might not be the best person to conduct this analysis, but I'm giving it a shot anyway. At the very least, it's a learning opp for me. That said, I have a couple questions:

  1. Client has asked to compare diversity of microbiome of 1 group of 9 subjects versus diversity of microbiome of another group of 9 different subjects. However, when I execute the diversity functions for shannon and simpson on each group, the output is a value for each subject in each group. Is it suitable or appropriate to simply calculate the mean diversity of each group and compare those? Or is there another approach/function that this community prefers or recommends to compare the diversity of two groups?
  2. What are some other outputs or analyses that one might be interested in if they're asking to compare the diversity of two groups (e.g. control group vs treatment group)? The client has not been very specific and to some degree, I'm not certain they even know what they want. I'd like to show up to the next meeting with some pleasing information they might not have expected.
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2021.10.26 17:51 Masquerade32 The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes (Build 7575778 + 1 DLC + Multiplayer, MULTi13) | Masquerade Repack | Selective Download | From 16GB

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2021.10.26 17:51 PepeThePickles Is It ok to take a piss at outside?

For example: inside a city but at remote place
View Poll
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2021.10.26 17:51 Gethardnightly 💦

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2021.10.26 17:51 Ordinary_Tomorrow_46 What new era are we in for?

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2021.10.26 17:51 iBasit Planning on visiting during Christmas holidays and could use some company

Hi, QC! I am planning on visiting the city during Christmas holidays and would love to have some company. This will be a 4-day trip and I would love to check out amazing restaurants/cafes/pubs/bars, night life, some historical places, and winter and Christmas attractions.
I'm an immigrant to Canada and this will be my first trip to the city. I'd been to Montreal for a few days and really enjoyed the vibe there.
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2021.10.26 17:51 HarryTheGamerr TFG please become a pro!!!!!!!!!!

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